Everybody loves typos. The ones that are especially fun are those that are not caught by spellcheckers and that can give rise to hilarious consequences. In order to have some fun at the expense of scientific language, I offer you the scientific biography of Avert Seaman, or A. Seaman for short.
A. Seaman was born in the early 1900’s. His origins have been a mystery to historians and biographers. It is known that he worked for his PhD thesis somewhere in Germany in the 1930′, after the invention of quantum mechanics. His thesis work was on the Better Ansatz, which was not all that good to solve the problem he was working on. He is famous for describing this work as ‘The Better Ansatz makes my head spin’.
He then went on to work on various projects where he analyzed various experiments with Furry Series and Hermit Polynomials. None of this was very successful. In the 1940’s he was finally successful and was credited with discovering the Seaman effect. Subsequently there were controversies over his calculations. The Seaman analysis of the data was considered to be inconclusive and it is believed that the expected counts of events were anomalously low in most experiments.
Later in life he worked hard on calculations of quantum electrodynamics. As an anecdote, he is the first person to have calculated the ass of the electron.
Later in life he worked on various projects in mathematical physics. Particularly in the study of Poison structures and Poison manifolds. He also tried to define a theory of Not invariants, that was Not successful. In his later days he has been studying Sting theory and is actively researching Tautological sigma models and the Moth-Incubator transition .